In addition to my academic work and individual psychoanalytic psychotherapy, I also provide couples therapy.
Like the individual psychotherapy I provide, the couples’ work I engage in is very particular, and it works very well for some (but not all!) couples.
The work I do is centered on the idea that both halves of a couple have an unconscious process playing out in unexpected ways within their relationship. The work I do aims to help both people in the relationship uncover unconscious desires and speak to one another about these desires.
Engaging in this process will cause both people who make up the couples to realize and become implicated in what they want. Going through this type of therapy is not easy because it exposes things that the couple usually have worked very hard to not know about themselves and their relationship.
Here are some examples of things I’ve implicated people in:
- Wanting being a victim.
- Wanting to be a bully and/or doing whatever is necessary to get their own way.
- Wanting hurting their partner (making him/her feel shame or guilt as much as possible).
- Wanting to be in therapy so they can say, “I’ve done everything I can to save this relationship,” when they have no desire to save the relationship.
- Wanting to use children to manipulate their partner.
The list could go on, but I hope by this point you see that my style is not one people should undertake if they don’t want to do the difficult work of really understanding what is creating tension between them.
I also want to make it clear that the work I do might improve your relationship, but it may also expedite breaking up.
My goal is not to save anyone’s relationship, nor is it to end anyone’s relationship.
My goal is to help couples see the truth of their unconscious desires and how these unconscious desires are playing out within their relationship.
I do this because I believe this will help couples make the best choice for themselves, each other, and their families.